INTJ Social Anxiety – Description, Reasons And Tips To Beat It
1. INTJs and social anxiety
Do you feel like your brains just freeze if someone tries to make small talk with you? The best you can do is to nod your head or mumble couple of words. You become lightheaded, feel adrenaline rush and start to feel the need to run away.
On these bad days, when you feel socially exhausted, it is really difficult just to get out of bed and bring yourself to leave the house. You rather stay hungry at home than leave your house and go to the grocery store. It seems like a challenge that you cannot accept at the moment.
Even if you can handle big crowds, you still feel weak around people at parties or family gatherings in which you have trouble maintaining conversations. You just stumble through a few awkward encounters before people uncomfortably excuse themselves to find someone else to talk to and you just end up standing around by yourself, which makes you feel even worse.
If these situations look familiar to you, you may have social anxiety, which is quite common among INTJs.
2. What is social anxiety?
This anxiety could be so overwhelming that it could affect person’s social adaptation and make h(im/her) be unable to participate in everyday tasks such as going out, maintaining social life, talking with other people or doing any social activities.
It is important to add that people usually feel little bit anxious while meeting new people or speaking in front of people. However, people who experience social anxiety, tend to be afraid of doing common daily things in front of people and worry weeks before the simple event. Social anxiety can become really depressing and damage self-esteem.
Also, people experience social anxiety differently – some may experience it in certain situations, while others face its difficulties in almost any social situation.
3. The main characteristics of social phobia
3.1 Experiencing somatic symptoms while around other people
Sure, you INTJs, might have experienced unwanted things such as tachycardia, increased blood pressure, sweating (especially hands) which are the most common feelings while having unprepared social interactions or just simply while being at the market. Also, an increased muscular tension which causes trembling is a very prevalent experience. For INTJs, nothing is worse than not being able to control their body while experiencing social anxiety. It may lead to palpitations and suffocation, the feeling of air hunger which impels to go outdoors in order to get some fresh air.
3.2 Feeling strong anxiety while being/talking with other people
Once I remember, I was in a book fair and accidentally met my teacher, which I haven’t seen for ages. She just came to me and simply asked how everything was going in my life so far. Although I wished to maintain a normal conversation, everything I thought was that she stepped too close to me by invading my personal space. So I ended up by just foolishly stuttering. That social awkwardness leads to unpleasant sweating which made me feel really stupid for not being able to socialize with a really kind person I knew.
For INTJs, that kind of experience makes them feel very anxious and nervous. Blushing and having trouble while speaking deepens social anxiety problem. Even if INTJs might want to share and discuss various topics, which might truly enrich their understanding about specific subject or just have a pleasant conversation, they just can’t do it.
The paradox is that INTJ might actually enjoy public speaking or participating in debates on a subject in which they are interested. And do just fine. But if someone wants to do small talk to them – this is there serious problems start occurring.
3.3 Having a hard time making friends and keeping them
3.4 Feeling really self–conscious all the time
Earlier mentioned problems such as difficulties maintaining social interactions, having somatic symptoms and so on, can really damage person’s self-esteem and s(he) might start feeling worthless. Then social anxiety might convert into a general anxiety disorder, where you always feel stress and can’t escape it by changing the environment.
4. Why social anxiety is common among INTJs?
Then, some time later, INTJs start noticing that they are much behind in social areas. And by being perfectionists, INTJs then start trying to rationalize social situations and greatly over-think them. This is why INTJs have really hard time connecting with people – they use conscious mind while others just do it unconsciously.