INTJ In Adolescence (guest post)

INTJs are interesting creatures. Ambitious yet private, wild idealists yet bitter critics, seemingly confident in themselves yet bumbling when it comes to awkward social situations. I am an INTJ. I am fourteen. INTJs survive adolescence, but it is a confusing time for us when hormones influence our bodies even more than usual, and we think and feel things that are illogical and clash with what we know to hold true. Personally, I panicked. I realized that many of my emotions were no longer trustworthy and that hormones would nuance my thinking patterns without my even knowing. I am managing, however, and I have even found paths and routines to help me maintain confidence in my judgment.

Emotional Amplification

About two years ago, when I was twelve, these changes started to come over me. First and foremost, I noticed that my emotions seemed to be taking a roller coaster ride. All of the emotions that I usually felt now were amplified to a significantly higher degree. Not that I showed it, of course. By this time I knew that what was happening was probably adolescence, so I did not panic, but informed my parents and mentally downsized my emotions to make up for the excess.

Most INTJs would probably do much the same if they recognized what was happening to them by putting up mental blockades to prevent an emotional takeover, though the healthy INTJ will stay in tune with his emotions, just not letting them control him.

Sexual Attraction

The next thing I noticed was an attraction to the opposite sex. This was really a big change for me, as I was a bit of a sex snob, having three brothers. I was not raised in a culture that encouraged flirtatious behavior, so as soon as I realized that I felt a sexual attraction, I informed my father. We then, of course, had the ‘birds and the bees’ talk. In general, I find this attraction to be annoying because it alters the way I see, evaluate, and interact with someone, so I tried multiple plans and eventually found one that worked. Some INTJs may have found a different one, but mine was to first try to find something wrong with the subject female. I am apparently picky, so if someone had a physical or personality imperfection, the attraction almost completely ceased. If that failed, I attempted to transform my attraction into one of a parental nature (yes, I know it is weird. But if it works, who cares?). This plan worked (and still works) every time for me.

Other INTJs will have also found a method of dealing with this illogical attraction, probably by developing sophisticated immunity systems that effectively eliminate unwanted emotions that are related to the opposite sex, sometimes to their (and their crush’s) detriment.

A drop of Self-Confidence

As I grew out of my childish way of thinking (where everything is possible), I realized the impossibility of my big dreams of becoming president. I grew more self-aware and insecure, realizing that in a mere five or six years I would want to be self-sufficient. My INTJ self immediately started to build a plan of action, including college, marriage, family, job—even retirement(after all, INTJs plan further ahead than any type—an average of 33 years!). Unfortunately, people do not work according to our plans, and I realized that for all my effort they were, for the most part, futile.

INTJs should know that even though at this stage in life they will have even more pressure to be successful, they don’t have to be the kid with straight A’s, and they don’t have to have their life figured out by eighteen.

More Risk-Inclined

One change that really shocked me was that suddenly I began to feel more impulsive, like wanting to buy things at the drop of the hat or say something that would surely have caused me great pain later. This rather shook me, because I had always been a prudent child and my resistance to impulsiveness had always served me well, and I knew it. This was not a huge change, however, and I was merely more on my guard against impulsive behavior from then on.  This is also a shocking development for other INTJs, I would imagine, as this could easily shake their faith in their own good judgment.

So it is a very confusing time for us as a whole, but most of us survive.