Late in the game INTJ-T (guest post)

I may be a bit different than others who write in because I am over 65 years old.

I had not really found out or fully understood that I am an INTJ-T until late in life while already being retired. Of course, if I’d have known this when I was young, things might be different. Oh well, better late than never.

How did I feel when I found out that I’m an INTJ?

It made me very sad for all the wasted efforts, taken paths, and all the wasted relationships. But, it also put me at peace, no longer wondering; why I am the way I am, why I perceive and process things differently than others, why I am so powerfully focused and driven yet restrained, logical and deliberate. Why I didn’t “blend” no matter how hard I’ve tried. Why I silently intimidate while doing nothing. In short – why I am different from deep inside to out.

My background

I had always attributed these things for having a high IQ. I read the Encyclopedia Britannica instead of children’s little books. In school, my brain played with organic chemistry and calculus then quickly got bored. Med school seemed more arduous and rote than an intellectual challenge so I did not go. After majoring in Finance, my coworkers were more interested in company politics and gossip than focusing on the issues at hand. And everywhere I went was no different.

I realized the only way I was going to succeed largely and make my own goals was to make my own company. It worked out well. I’m a talented businessman and leader, a lousy employee.

I returned later to the University and studied philosophy and world religion which put me on a lifetime search and practice. Finally connecting the dots and all the commonalities and metaphors after years of meditation and practice, I wonder how others seem so myopic. There are more similarities and “coincidences” of wonder and awe to be had than focusing on petty differences and bickering to defend one’s limited sight, one’s artificial constructs,  in the name of transient self-esteem and ego.

I have had business successes and done well where society and others would be envious. But, that brings no deep satisfaction. But, helping others and teaching is rewarding, within INTJ limits.

How did my life change after finding out my MBTI type?

After deeply understanding, not just intellectually finding out, what it truly means to be an INTJ with a high IQ, and having traveled my own unique path of self-realization and maturation in life, I am at peace and centered, finally. I am able to have the confidence to travel my own quiet and private path toward understanding and revelation in the essence of life and all that it entails(in a way that only an INTJ could grasp).

And I am so appreciative that my INFJ wife understands who I  am. . .  within her capability. After all, perhaps only another INTJ could really get us.

I am currently revisiting the Dao De Jing, slowly, carefully, like eating something very slowly, digesting in tiny bites. And, awakening.

My tips to other INTJs

1. Find others like yourself to confirm that you are “okay” and not broken. Your parents and authorities, teachers, etc, likely will not “get you”, and that’s okay.
2. Realize, you have to be materially successful to have the time and freedom to pursue what happens within us with passion. It doesn’t help if you’re broke. It helps if you’re wealthy and succeed in your career.
3. We don’t need to be externally validated to feel secure and have self-esteem and confidence. If we rely on that we will drown. We do not need to be “empowered” by others.
4. Fully realize, without arrogance, that it is an INTJ that is already empowered. We can lead. We can inspire. We can teach. We can be the beacon that others follow by example. Because, others will always, silently wonder, how we “do it”, how we “see”, how we “connect the dots” of anything in life.
5. Remember to always take time for simple goofy and awkward fun and play. My biggest regret is not allowing myself to play, nor learning how to play with abandon.
6. If you’re not happy being an employee – be the boss. If not the boss – then the company owner.
7. Love carefully. Trust very very carefully. Even then if you burned, keep trying because you could get “lucky”. I did…